20-Word Fiction (10/10): Jack and Diane

Greetings to our blog readers in Poland, Jordan and India......

As we typing this up, we are listening to "The American Life," a public radio documentary series hosted by Ira Glass; this week's episode focuses on the problems of intimacy. This short, short story reflects that sentiment as well:

"Jack got a postcard from Paris from his girlfriend. Diane told him she missed him even though she just met Pierre."

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/

20-word Fiction: The Farmer's Market

We went to the farmer's market; my grandmother died of a heart attack. we forgot to get the beets. THE END.

(This is a work of fiction; we hear beets are popular in Russia, Ukraine, and Poland.....)

Last Ten Movies We'Ve Seen: Catching Up with 2014

Greetings to our faithful blog readers in Afghanistan (well, maybe), The Bahamas and Poland.

Here are the last ten films we've seen (well, actually as of last week). We are still trying to catch up on the best films of 2014, some of which are listed in the IMDB as 2013 films.....yes, we are confused as well!

1) Night Moves (top image, film is about eco-terrorism.) 2013. Dir: Kelly Reichhardt

2) Palo Alto (center image, Palo Alto is where Stanford U is located). 2013. Gia Coppola.

3) Inherent Vice. 2014. Paul Thomas Anderson.

4) Post Mortem. Chile. 2010. Pablo Lorrain

5) Tabu. Portugal. 2012. Miguel Gomes

6) Drug War. Hong Kong. Johnnie To.

7) And, Now a Word from Our Sponsor. (bottom image, Ipana, originally an American toothpaste now only found in Turkey!)* 2013. Zack Bernbaum. (w/Parker Posey)

8) Museum Hours. 2012. Austria. Jem Cohen.

9) Lfe of Pi. 2012. Ang Lee.

10) Under the Skin. 2013. Jonathan Glazer (w/ Scarlett Johansson)

#- We learned that from Bill Griffith's comic strip "Zippy the Pinhead"


http://www.imdb.com

http://www.netflix.com

The Sunday Roanoke Times Comics Survey: The March of the Penguins

Greetings to our blog readers in Israel, Egypt and Poland.

The comic strip "Arctic Circle" would have been our top comic strip of the week, but we saw it on the Internet. But, we certainly hope the comic strip which on Sunday took a hilarious dig towards global warming deniers gets more newspapers.

In the mean time, we are focusing on the circa 21 comic strips that run in the Sunday edition of "The Roanoke Times," the daily newspaper in Roanoke, Va. This week, our three favorite comic strips focused on a penguin wearing Jimmy Choo high heels ("Speed Bump"), an over-the-top unicorn gag ("Pearls Before Swine") and an office place spat over how to be successful ("Dilbert").

The third place finish for "Dilbert" is our highest ranking ever for Scott Adams' comic strip; the Sticky Notes are one of our features in its honor.

Here is the top ten:

1) Speed Bump

2) Pearls Before Swine

3) Dilbert

4) Doonesbury

5) Non-Sequitur

6) Agnes

7) Zits

8) Get Fuzzy

9) Garfield

10) Funky Winkerbean

http://www.gocmics.com/speedbump

http://www.dilbert.com

http://www.gocmics.com/nonsequitur

Sunday Comics Grand Slam (1 of 4)

Greetings to those of you in Poland, Turkey and Saudi Arabia, thanks for tuning in, and we regret your respective countries not being in the World Cup.

And, greetings to our readers in Belgium, Italy and Chile, and kudos for making it to the World Cup!

We are a week behind, so bear with us. We begin with a look at our favorite comic strips from the June 8th "Washington Post," be sure to go to our sister blog "Politics, Culture and Other Wastes of Time" http://www.politicscultureandotherwastesoft.blogspot.com for a look at our favorite comic strips from the June 8 issue of "The Roanoke Times."

Also, since we have a slight center-left political bias here at "The Daily Vampire," we wanted to mention that we are amused (for the moment) that Cong. Eric Cantor (R-Va) lost his Congressional seat due to a Republican Party primary which was won by tea party extremist David Brat, who will face Democrat Jack Trammell in November.

Two weeks ago, while in Richmond, Va., we saw 18 signs for Cantor and one for Brat, whom we mistook for a Democrat!

Cantor was also given the dubious Worst Week in Washington title by political reporter Chris Cillizza of "The Washington Post."

We personally think if there was a Best Week in Washington title that it should go to the Dutch ambassador Rudolf Bekink as The Netherlands shocked Spain 5-1 in World Cup play in Brazil.

Last week, our favorite strip from the Post belonged to "Dustin," a King Features strip which had a great take on the agony of remembering all 42 passwords for our respective Internet/social media sites. We are using an image of Sean Connery playing James Bond because we presume JamesBond007 is one of the worst passwords to use.

"Foxtrot" also delighted with us as the kids took in lots of ice cream, so much so that one of them actually wore a winter coat! Thus, we give the strip second place.

The bronze medal goes to "Prickly City," a strip which some times shows a conservative tilt, but this week cartoonist Scott Stantis had a great take on how cyber deities whose name we won't mention (Google, Facebook, Twitter) are inclined to watch us these days!

Here is our top ten list:

1) Dustin

2) Foxtrot

3) Prickly City

4) Doonesbury

5) Pearls Before Swine

6) Brewster Rockit

7) Lio

8) Sherman's Lagoon

9) Judge Parker

10) WUMO

http://www.washingtonpost.com/comics

http://www.dustincomics.com

http://www.foxtrot.com

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/worst-week-in-washington/

Quote from Che Guevara: Little Thinkers (2 of 16)

Greetings to our blog-readers in El Salvador, Estonia and Egypt.

Since the Myrtle Beach Tea Party in Myrtle Beach, SC, thinks all of us Democrats, even those of us on the center-left are Marxists, socialists, perhaps there is little harm in posting a comment from Che Guevara, the Latin American revolutionist who was assassinated/executed in Bolivia at the age of 40 in 1967.

Guevara was a leading figure in the Cuban Revolution which brought Fidel Castro to power, which makes us think it would be very ironic to see someone sporting a Che Guevara t-shirt at the Greensboro Gun Show, which is happening on the weekend of Feb. 1st and 2nd at the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, NC.

We are also quoting Che as he is one of the many historical figures which have been made into Little Thinkers puppet/dolls (seen above).

Here is his quote:

"I don't care if I fall as long as someone else picks up my gun and keeps on shooting."

SIDEBAR: We learned by chance yesterday that the heavy metal Judas Priest is starting their European tour in Katowice, Poland, on April 14th. Perhaps, someone from Chicago or St.Louis may actually get on an Air Poland flight and head out there just for the show!

http://www.marxists.org

http://www.cheguevara.com

http://www.visitbolivia.org

http://www.mbteaparty.org

http://www.greensborogunshow.com

http://www.judaspriest.com

Quotes from The Little Thinkers (1 of 16): Jesus Christ

Greetings to all our blog-readers in Bhutan, Israel and Pakistan (we couldn't resist!)....but, perhaps there will be lots of people who read this in Serbia and Poland instead.

Today, there is actually a one-percent chance that the Rev. Jonathan Falwell from the Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg, Va., started by his father Jerry Falwell, will glance at this liberal, secular blog, since we will be quoting Jesus Christ.

This entry marks the first in our Little Thinkers series, dedicated to some very creative novelty puppet-makers called the Unemployed Philosophers Guild.

As it turns out, Thomas Road Baptist  has moved into the high tech era and now offers streams of its sermons live online. In fact, they have a countdown clock to Sunday at 9:00 a.m. (EDT), which is 4:00 p.m. in Istanbul, Turkey, where one, maybe two people might tune in to the broadcast. A second sermon begins at 11:15 a.m.

Edgewood Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, NC, also known as The Edge, was an overt opponent to gay marriage in the Tar Heel State, and it is a very large church as well, but there was no mention of simulcasts on their web site. But, this month, they are focusing on the Ephesians.

Of course, there are liberal churches as well. In fact's there's even a Unitarian Church in Lynchburg, where there is also one least one synagogue and one mosque!

Here is our quote from Jesus Christ:

"If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give them to the poor, and you will have the treasure of heaven."

http://www.trbc.org/

http://www.theedgebc.com

http://www.philosophersguild.com/LittleThinkers

Colder than Siberia: A Look at Temps Around America (plus some around the globe)

Martin Short is shown here as Jack Frost, one of the few good things about the Tim Allen Santa Claus movie sequel that this antagonist appeared in.

Today, the whole east coast of America from Buffalo to Jacksonville, Fla., felt like Jack Frost was nipping at their collective noses.

Here is a look at some of these temps; additional ones will be on our sister blog: http://www.politicscultureandotherwastesoft.blogspot.com


All temps are Fahrenheit:

1) Warsaw, Poland: 42

2) Tromso, Norway (near the Arctic Circle): 30

3) Huntsville, Alabama: 25

4) Anchorage, Alaska 25

5) Greensboro, NC: 24

6) Atlanta: 24

7) Danville, Va. 24

8) Asheville, NC: 20

9) Roanoke, Va. 19

10) Lynchburg, Va. 19

11) Washington, DC 18

12) Knoxville, Tenn. 17

13) Baltimore, Maryland 14

14) New York 10

15) Wytheville, Va. 10

16) Chicago 6

17) Buffalo, NY 5

18) Novosibirski, Russia (Siberia) 5

19) Fort Wayne, Ind. 1

20) Winnipeg, Canada -11

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/capital-weather-gang/

http://www.weather.com

http://www.wunderground.com/

Presidential Quotes (13 of 16): Chester Arthur, the Man from Vermont

Greetings to our blog readers in Serbia, Poland and Kazakhstan.

We are pretty sure this series of quotes from early American presidents will get considerably fewer hits than if we were to quote American serial killers, such as Charles Manson, who at age 79 has actually outlived our subject of the day, President Chester Arthur (1829-1886).

Or we could quip gangster John Dellinger who said: "I rob banks for a living, what do you do?" But, we'll stick with this one-term president.

Arthur was America's 21st president, and ironically, given that he was a Republican, he is one of only two presidents from Vermont, America's most progressive state today. President Calvin Coolidge, also a Republican, hailed from the same New England state.

Here is our quote: "I may be the president of the United States, but my private life is nobody's business." (I believe we've used this one before, but it's a gem!)...

http://www.millercenter.org/president/Arthur

http://www.visit-vermont.com

Presidential Quotes (4 of 12): Zachary Taylor

Greetings to those of you in Poland, Mexico and Japan.

Our quote today is from Zachary Taylor (1784-1850), the 12th president of the United States who was one of four American presidents from the Whig Party and one of four American presidents to have the dubious distinction of dying in office from natural causes.

Taylor was born near Charlottesville, Va., and he apparently had little formal education. He was replaced by his veep Millard Fillmore.

Here is Taylor's quote:

"It would be judicious to act with magnanimity towards a prostrate foe."

Yeah, one does not hear the word magnanimity much today!

http://www.millercenter.org/president/taylor

Presidential Quotes: Bill Clinton

Special Greetings to our blog-readers in Paraguay, Poland and Portugal and a last minute Happy Fourth of July to our readers in Philadelphia, Boston and Denver, where we gather that the Colorado Rapids are winning at home over the New York Red Bulls by a 2-0 margin in Major League Soccer play.

We will momentarily be quoting former President Bill Clinton, but before we do, we thought we'd use some taglines from the conservative newspaper "The Washington Times" to show irony (sorry to our readers in Boise, Idaho, but this is a center-left blog....well, when we go into politics).

Those terms are: National Security Agency, Mohammed Morsi, Congress, 4th of July and Egypt:

"It appears as though Egypt is in a bit of a row, as the Brits would say, as the military ousted Prime Minister Mohammed Morsi. We gather both far-left progressives and far-right Tea Partiers are outraged by the National Security Agency and Congress, but frankly when one mentions Washington, DC, to us personally, we think of Rusty the Runaway Red Panda who is now safely back home at the National Zoo. Happy 4th of July, everyone."

Here is Clinton's quote, it is regarding the White Zoo (Freudian slip, we meant...) White House, and an astonish number of presidents, including Harry Truman truly hated living there:

"I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system."

UPDATE: Colorado won its soccer game over New York by a score of 2-0 in Denver.

http://www.clintonpresidentialcenter.org (Clinton's presidential library/museum in Little Rock, Arkansas)

http://www.washingtontimes.com

http://www.mlssoccer.com

Quote of the Day/Week- Yanni

There was a letter in today's "Roanoke Times," a daily newspaper in Roanoke, Va., complaining that the media outlet had not properly covered the new age instrumentalist Yanni who gave a concert in Roanoke (my hometown) on June 4th.

I must profess that today's quote was initially to be from the great Greek composer Mikis Theodakris, who turns 87 in July, and is known for the scores to "Z" and "Zorba the Greek."

But, we couldn't find quotes from Theodakris, who was born on the island of Chios, just across the Aegean Sea from the resort town Cesme, Turkey. Cesme is a sister city to Wise,Va., a small Appalachian town in far southwestern Virginia, which also known for being the birthplace of the late actor George C. Scott.

This month, we are quoting famous people associated with the 16 countries in the Euro 2012 Cup, which is being played in Poland and Ukraine. The Greek soccer team must defeat Poland on the country's home grass in order to advance in the tournament. Greece lost 2-1 to the Czech Republic on Tuesday. Russia is the other team in Group A.

As for Yanni, he came to international prominence following his 1992 concert at the Acropolis in Athens. Yanni was born in Kalmata, a city in the southern Greek mainland.

Here is his quote, which country singer Dolly Parton can probably identify with:

"I don't think we're put on this planet to experience it from nine to five."

SIDEBAR: We want to congratulate the race horse Union Rags on the horse's Belmont Stakes victory. The horse edged out Paynter in the final leg of the race in New York state. John Velasquez was the jockey for Union Rags, who was born on March 3, 2009.

http://www.roanoke.com

http://www.yanni.com

http://www.famous-greeks.com

http://www.belmontstakes.com

Quote of the Day/Week- Charlie Chaplin

Thanks to those of you in Afghanistan?!, Spain and Serbia for visiting us today. Hope the weather is nice in Kandahar province.

Today, we continue quoting famous people associated with each of the 16 nations competing in the Euro 2012 Cup in Poland and Ukraine. Yesterday in Warsaw, there were ugly clashes between fans for Russia and Poland on the eve of the two countries' soccer match. Thankfully, the game ended in a 1-1 tie and things were apparently less tense after the game....well, we hope!

England is one of those 16 countries, and since we are also quoting people who have been humorously merchandised by the American company The Unemployed Philosophers Guild, we thought we'd go with the great actor/director/composer Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977). A Little Thinker plush doll toy from the company retails for $17.95. Another company has a line of Charlie Chaplin ties, which might not be the best choice for a job interview unless you are interviewing for a manager's position at an old cinema, such as the Byrd Theatre in Richmond, Va., which is now screening "The Artist," which pays homage to silent films, such as the ones which made Chaplin famous.

Chaplin is best known for several cinematic masterpieces, including "The Gold Rush" (1925), "City Lights" (1931) and "Modern Times" (1936). Since Chaplin held left-wing views, he was targeted by the controversial FBI director J. Edgar Hoover during the infamous McCarthy period. This caused Chaplin who was living in America at the time, to move to Switzerland where he lived out his last years.

Here is his quote:

"Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves."

http://www.philosophersguild.com

http://www.byrdtheatre.com

http://www.charliechaplin.com

Quote of the Day/Week- Lech Walesa

Today, we begin our month-long series of quotes from famous people associated with eight of the 16 countries participating in the Euro 2012 soccer championships, which most people here in the United States will probably follow as closely as water polo, with the exception of rabid D.C. United fans of course!

We start with a quip from Lech Walesa, 69, the Nobel Prize winner and former prime minister of Poland, one of two countries along with Ukraine that is hosting the cup.

Walesa was born in 1943 in the north central Polish village of Popowo. He came to prominence by leading the anti-communist solidarity movement in the 1980s, which lead to him winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1983.

Walesa then became the first prime minister in post-Iron Curtain in Poland in December of 1990; he held the post for five years.

On a personal note, we had also hoped that Turkey (my late father's country) had qualified as well as Slovenia, since we really wanted to quote philosopher Slavoj Zizek again (he is always amusing).

But, Walesa is a vintage persona in himself and here is his quote:

"He who puts out his hand to stop history will have his fingers crushed."


http://www.dcunited.com

http://poland.travel/en-us

http://www.zizekstudies.org

Quote of the Day/Week-Harry S. Truman

Today, we conclude our quotes from former vice presidents of the United States, with Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) who also became president. In fact, Truman, a Missouri native, spent less than three months as veep before he took the oval office due to Franklin D. Roosevelt's passing. In addition to Truman, John Garner and Henry Wallace were vice presidents during the FDR years.

Truman is also famous for defeating centrist Republican Thomas Dewey, who had been governor of New York, in the 1948 election. Erroneous reports that Dewey had in fact been the victor lead to the famous photo of Truman holding up a newspaper with the headline: "Dewey Beats Truman."

A man with the president's name, Harry R. Truman, a resident of Washington state at the time of the Mount St. Helens' eruption of 1980 became famous for his stubborn unwillingness to leave his home, and he thus became one of the 57 casualties from the catastrophe.

Interestingly enough, (president) Truman, a Democrat, was portrayed in the 1995 film "Truman" by a then-40-year old Gary Sinise, now the star of "CSI: New York," who is one of the most outspoken Republicans in Hollywood.

In Jefferson City, Missouri, the state capital of Truman's native state, it was 86 degrees today.

Here is Truman's partisan quote:

"A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants."

Thanks to those of you in South Africa, Norway and Poland who visited our blog today.

http://www.trumanlibrary.org

Things We Learned on Google Today- Polish Goalie Ruled in Russian Soccer

We first asked Google what was the most popular soccer team in Moscow, and we realized there were two popular teams in the Russian capital: Dynamo Moscow and Spartak Moscow. And, we have been confused ever since.

But, we decided to focus on Spartak Moscow, a team that plays a road game against PFK Kryliya Sovetov in Samara, Russia, tomorrow.

We then asked Google who was the best player in the team's history, and we are not entirely sure this is the right answer, but we got "Wojciech Kowaleski." I was thinking: "Hey, this guy is Polish. Russians and Poles hate each other's guts, don't they?"

Kowaleski, 34, know plays for the Greek Cypriot soccer team Anorthosis Famagusta, which actually plays in Larnaca since Famagusta is in Turkish Cyprus (I went there in 1991). If you want to know why the island is split, you will need to ask Google about what exactly happened in 1974, but we aren't getting into that here (especially since I'm half-Turkish).

The Polish goalie played for Spartak Moscow from 2003-07, and he has been the goalie of the Polish national team.

As for the team, Spartak Moscow won 12 Soviet Championships, second only to the Ukrainian team Dyanmo Kiev, which now plays in the Ukrainian Premiere League. Spartak Moscow last won the Russian Cup in 2003. And, the team reached to the 1990 UEFA semi-finals before losing to Marseille (France) 2-1.

We were surprised to see that Aiden McGeady, an Irish soccer star, plays for Spartak Moscow. Conversely, Luke Wilshire, from New Zealand, plays for Dynamo Moscow.

Greensboro vs. Roanoke- Battle of the Sandwiches (5 of 6)

For starters, I want to thank everyone in Russia, where we are surprisingly popular, for coming to this blog. I was also pleased to see that we have had hits from Poland, Iraq and Germany today.

Of course, my hometown of Roanoke, Va., and my adopted city of Greensboro, NC, which are about 110 miles from each other are a long way from Baghdad, Moscow and Warsaw. Nevertheless, we continue with this 'highly controversial' series (there are people in both zip codes who may see my as a double agent) with a look at two famous beer and sandwich joints.

Natty Greene's Pub and Brewing Company, with locations in downtown Greensboro and Raleigh, was started by two former UNC-Greensboro classmates as Chris Lester and Kayne Fisher wanted to start their own brewing company. In 1996, they established the brewing business. And, in 2004, they opened the first of the two restaurants in the Hamburger Square section of Greensboro.

Last year, a second restaurant in Raleigh was opened.

The establishment offers burgers, such as The Ole Standby, The Cali and (of course) The Carolina while they have sandwiches, such as the Big Dawg and the Elm Street Philly. But, they are best known for their beer!

Macado's, not to be confused with Macadoo's Grille in Valdosta, Ga.,(with an extra O in their name) has 17 locations, including restaurants in Charlotte, NC, Beckley, WVa, and Bristol, Tenn. But, 10 of the 17 currently open restaurants (a new one is opening in Harrisonburg soon) are in Virginia. And, six of those establishments are in the Roanoke/New River Valley area.

Macado's is known for their great sandwiches with catchy pop culture names like The Honeymooners, The Bonnie and Clyde, The Hidenberger and the Boo Boo Boomer.

One of the problem with choosing which one is my preferance is that it will inevitably make the other one mad. And, it just so happens that Macado's is reportedly owned by an Armenian-American family (I am half-Turkish!), which really puts me in the pickle jar, no pun intended.

But, I will go with what my friend Ginger (pse) who has eaten at the Natty Greene's in Greensboro and several of the Macado's in Roanoke, and she prefers Natty Greene's!

Quote from The Composers- Frederich Chopin

Frederich Chopin (1810-1849) is yet another iconic symbol who died all too young at age 39, which means as a 40-year-old I've already outlived him. But, despite his very short life, he left behind classic works like "The Revolutionary Etude," "The Minute Waltz" and "The Funeral March."

The cause of Chopin's death has been a source of controversy. At the time, it was believed to be tuberculosis, which Chopin believed he was dying from, but more recent research suggests it may have been cystic fibrosis which took him to an all too early grave.

Chopin was also a great master of Romantic music, and since he had parents who were Polish and French, both Poland and France claim him as one of their own.

Here is his quote, which we initially forgot to put in for the first draft of this entry:

"Simplicity is the final achievement. After one has played a vast quantity of notes and more notes, it is simplicity that emerges as the crowning reward of art."

SIDEBAR: As for some radically different kind of music, we reported on our other blog that we were actually contemplating going to a concert from the heavy metal band GWAR while we were in Washington, DC, at the fabled 9:30 Club in late December. As it turns out, the band will be performing at The Lincoln Theatre in Raleigh, NC, which is closer to home, on Feb. 17, but alas, I have to work that night. And, I'm not sure my soon-to-be-41-year-old ears could handle the noise!

Olympic Athlete Profiles (15 of 25) Gregor Schlierenzauer/men's ski jumping/Austria

When we first started this epic project of Cecil B. Demille proportions, we went through a list of some potentially interesting Winter Olympics athletes.

I was particularly fascinated by Austrian ski jumper Gregor Schlierenzauer both because he was a gold medal favorite and because his last name is VERY hard to spell, but then again so is the surname of Icelandic women's slalom skier Iris Gudmundsdottir!

The Austrian skier nicknamed Schlieri (it should be pointed out that the ski jumping is that of a Polish ski jumper) just turned 20 on January 7th, but he has already son 32 World Cup Victories which only four other ski jumpers have done.

At Vancouver, Schlieri has won two bronze medals (actually, this number is subject to immediate change as he is ski jumping again today) so far. In the Men's K-120, on Saturday, he finished third behind Simon Ammann of Switzerland and veteran Adam Malysz of Poland.

Schlieri broke Finnish ski jumper Jsanne Ahonen's record of 12 World Cup victories, with his 13th win. The Austrian ski jumper also won gold at the world championships in 2007, and he won both team and individual medals at the 2008 world's.

He is deaf in one year, and began ski jumping at the age of 8.

I was really looking forward to watching ski jumping as it is one of my favorite events. But, as those of you who watch the Olympics realize, one can watch one of their least favorite events (for me, it's ice dancing) yet miss their favorite sports entirely!

When we lived in Poland in 1976 (when I was six years old), I watched ski jumping all the time. But, when I asked my mom if I could try ski jumping, I believe she said no in a very adamant way!