Our Oscar Forecasts: Which Beard Will Win?

Oscars seem to be more about trends and how a film is promoted to members of the Academy more so than what films or actors are genuinely the best in their respective categories.

We came up with the 'which beard will win' line because many are forecasting that either "Argo" or "Lincoln" will win Best Picture.

With that said, we are making the following projections in the eight major categories for Oscar Sunday, and unlike most years, we are projecting several major upsets:

Best Original Screeenplay: Mark Boal "Zero Dark Thirty"

Best Adapted Screenplay: Chris Terrio "Argo"

Best Supporting Actor: Tommy Lee Jones "Lincoln"

Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway "Les Misreables" (pictured)

Best Actor: Bradley Cooper "Silver Linings Playbook"

Best Actress: Jessica Chastain "Zero Dark Thirty"

Best Director: Steven Spielberg "Lincoln"

Best Film: "Argo"

Bonus Silly Photo to Fill Space- Oktoberfest

Alas, Oktoberfest Zinzinnati, perhaps the msot famous Oktoberfest in America, was held last month. But, when I got a tweet from Visit Maine today, I realized there are still many Oktoberfests taking place in October here in the United States (there is even one in Brisbane, Australia, this weekend!). The festival which originated in Germany and features lots and lots of beer has become popular all over the globe.

The Maine event will be held in the quaint town of Belfast, which I visited back in 2007. According to the tweet from Visit Maine, Oktoberfest in Belfast will take place on Saturday and it will feature lots of beer and permaquid mussels.

Other Oktoberfests will take place this weekend in LaCosse, Wisc., Leavenworth, Wash., and Tampa, Fla. Additionally, there will be an Oktoberfest in Tulsa, Okl., on the following weekend.

SIDEBAR: I just listened to today's edition of the NPR talk show "Fresh Air" (with Terry Gross). She interviewed Jeffrey Eugenides ("The Virgin Suicides," "Middlesex") who is one of my favorite novelists. He is one of few whom I've met personally, along with the great North Carolina write Clyde Edgerton. Both have new novels out.

In his radio interview, Eugenides admitted that he cried while watching "Finding Nemo." So, I suppose I can confess to crying at the movies myself as I did recently during the Anne Hathaway "One Day." But, if I told you why, I'd have to put out a "Spoilers Alert."

The Last Ten Films I've Seen

Before I discuss the last ten films I've seen (I actually drew the line at 10 p.m. on Monday and I've seen two other films since), I want to briefly make a few comments.

First of all, five of the films were made by acclaimed directors, including "Mother Kuster Goes to Heaven," "Sleeper" (pictured) and "Husbands.

And, I did see all five and a half hours of "Carlos" (image is of Carlos the Jackal) in virtually one sitting. It's an amzing film/mini-series about one of th emost reclusive terrorists the world has ever known.

George Butler who co-directed "Pumping Iron" (pictured) happens to share my alma mater, Hollins University in Roanoke, Va. (Yes, at the undergrad level it is a female school, but not at the grad school level).

Here is the list:

1. "The Omen" (1976. Dir-Richard Donner. w/Gregory Peck)

2. "Pumping Iron" (1977. documentary. Dirs-George Butler and Robert Fiore.

3. "One Day" (2011. Dir-Lone Scherfig. w/Anne Hathaway)

4. "The Savages" (2007. Dir-Tamara Jenkins. w/Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman)

5. "Husbands" (1970. Dir- John Casavetes. w/Casavetes, Peter Falk and Ben Gazzara)

6. "Sleeper" (1973. Dir- Woody Allen. w/Allen and Diane Keaton)

7. "Mother Kuster Goes to Heaven. (Germany. 1975. Dir- Rainer Werner Fassbinder)

8. "Electra, My Love" (Hungary. 1974. Dir-Miklos Jancso)

9. "The Upsetter" (documentary. 2008. Dirs-Ethan Higbee and Adar Bhula Lagh)

10. "Carlos" (France. 2010. Dir-Olivier Assayas)

The Top 10-Christmas Wish List (Gag Gifts Edition)

I was joking with my cousin Bradley West who has just finished a year-long ice-fishing expedition in the North Pole where he developed a tragic alcholic dependency porblem, and he was wondering: "Attila, my dear cousin, blood brother and comrade, what the heck da ya want fer Christmas?" They then gave a sob story about how cold and lonely it is up there (this is a joke, of course as I don't know a single person who has been to the North Pole or North Pole, Ak., for that matter! Oh, and I don't have cousins named Bradley).

But, there are always people who want to know these things, so I have developed two separate lists: one for potential gag lists and one for actual gifts that I would love to have. There is, of course, a thin line between the two.

So, here are my top ten gag gift ideas:

1. The Bert and Ernie: Don't Ask, Don't Tell t-shirt ($18). We saw this advertised in "Rolling Stone." It's available from tshirtsthatsuck.com
Yes, I'm not sure if it will go over well in Martinsville, Va., or Kingsport, Tenn., either!

2. Marijuana Leaf Neckties- Well, we obviously could NEVER wear it to work (definitely not for a job interview) but an assortment of these 'products' are available from web sites like zazzle.com for between $5-31.

3. Brady Bunch Lunchbox- Well, we obviously could NEVER bring this to work, but that would be to save one's self from persistent ridicule throughout the work day. These were actually made in the '70s and prices on the net range from $20-45.

4. Mr. Potato Head- Yikes! The 2010 Toy Story 3 edition of Mr. Potato Head retails for $38 at places like Target. But, we did learn while researching this entry (yes, we did actually do that!) that Mr. Potato Head, which was first made in 1952, lost the pipe in 1986 as to not encourage kids to smoke.

5. Swedish Pop CDs_ Abba, Roxette, Robyn, Ace of Base and/or The Cardigans (they were on the original "Beverly Hills 90210" soundtrack) would be a great gag gift for those of who prefer the vastly superior Norwegian pop (ok, I can't think of any Norwegian bands besides A-ha either). We found out just today that Abba is performing in Istanbul, Turkey- of all places, on Dec. 13.

6. "Gulliver's Travels" (paperback edition; $5-14). Since I wrote a book report on this classic by Jonathan Swift 21 years ago, this gift would indeed be quite ironic and inexpensive. But, I probably won't get around to reading it!

7. "Chico and the Man" DVD Set- Can you imagine the look on someone's face if you actually get them all 88 episodes of the hit '70s sitcom (it ran from 1974-1978)? We were stunned to find out that the show continued after its star Freddie Prinze (father of Freddie Prinze Jr.) committed suicide by gunshot at age 22 in 1977. The things you learn from blogging are something else, aren't they!

8. Che Guevara Little Thinker Plush Toy ($15) and Jesus Christ Bobblehead ($10)_ Yes, for a mere $25, you can show a family member that you have a very surreal sense of humor. This would be perfect for an off-the-wall cousin of mine who lives somewhere in rural Missouri who has made sure that there is no possible way I can be the black sheep of the family even though I would be the black sheep of 99 percent of all American/Canadian families.

9. "Conscience of a Conservative" by Barry Goldwater (Sr.)_ If you really want me to look at you as if I was a character in a vintage Tex Avery cartoon (he was the one who came up with the idea of sockets popping out though we need to ask our Honduran intern Javier to verify that), you can get me this 1960 booklet that is 84 pages long (I am a partisan Democrat).

10. Another subscription to a 'get connected' web site_ Judging from their ads, you would think sites like E-Harmony, Ok Cupid, Match.com, Plentyoffish.com, Connectsingles.com and lavalife.com could actually connect with a woman who likes Anne Hathaway who happens to think the fact that you have every issue of "Hot Stuff" and "Daredevil" is so cool. Think again! (I speak from experience....)