Our First Entry in Turkish.........

Izlanda, Macaristan ve Azerbaycan'daki dostalrimiz'a hos geldiniz demek istedim. Ayrica Turkiye'de Eskisehir, Malatya ve Trabzon'daki arkadaslarimiza merhabalar gonderiyoruz.

Simdi ben Inglizce yerine Turkce yazdigim icin, butun Inglizce konusanlar 'paranoid' olacaktir. Malisef, ben 'paranoid' sozun Tukcesini bilmiyorum. Bir dakika, Google'a soralim bari. Haa, 'paranoyak' paranoid'in Turkce'si.

Bizim aile'misin kedi'si biraz paranoyak oluyor. Komsular'in portakal-renki kedi'yi hic sevmiyor. Onlar Karagoz ve Hacivat gibi tartisiyorlar.

Turkiye'de su an saat 08:00 olduguna rahmen, hepinize gunaydim diliyorum.

Ok, here is the English translation (abridged version):

"Hello to our friends in Iceland, Hungary and Azerbaijan, three countries where Turkish is widely spoken (actually not so much in Iceland and Hungary). What is the word for paranoid in Turkish? Oh, I see it is 'paranoyak.' I think our family cat may suffer from 'paranoyak.'

Since it is now 8:00 a.m. in Turkey, I guess I better end by saying "Gunaydin," which is 'good morning' in Turkish."

Highlights from the 100 Things To Do List: Working Out, Get in Shape

Here are some highlights from a 100 Things To Do List, which I am still working (up to number 71 so far):

1. Work Out, Get Into Shape

2. Get Duracell batteries (or Energizers)

3. Return Books to the Rockford, Illinois,* public library

4. Watch movies from Netflix

5. Get a back massage (it really hurts)

6. Look into going to Iceland by 2015

7. Write a short story

8. Write a short play

9. Write anything

10. Call the local cable company here in Scranton, Penn.**

*-Not where I live

**-Not where I live either

Blogging Free-Style: Let's Talk About Jurror B29

Here is how this works. We go with trending items in the news, such as 'Juror B29' and 'Royal Baby' and then add them in with other things we threw in the pot, such as Egypt, and we make a short blog entry out of it. We'll signal the catch phrases by putting a single parenthesis around them. 

Here it goes:

"Well, I should be watching Charlie Rose, I gather he is going to talk with guests about political instability in 'Egypt,' but the remote is stuck on CNN, so we'll have to hear about 'George Zimmerman,' 'Jurror B29,' 'the royal baby' (yawn!) and how state legislators in Oklahoma are deliberating to decide if jaywalkers in Tulsa deserve 'the death penalty.'

I wonder how is the weather in 'Winston-Salem, NC,' but the remote will not let me visit the Weather Channel either. Perhaps, I can find out that info via 'Google.' I can also find out when 'Ramadan' ends, so I can send Ramadan greeting cards from Target to all my Muslim friends. Wait. Target doesn't carry Ramadan cards. In fact, no one seems to.

Oh, now CNN is talking about 'Anthony Weiner' (yawn), and apparently 'Pope Francis' is set to visit Holland (the Netherlands)."

Random Ten List of Places to Go in Roanoke, Virginia:

Our good friend Jason, well we have many friends named Jason as well as a cousin named Jason (perhaps there are even people in Pakistan named Jason), but I am referring to Jason Turner who has an outstanding web site called 'Roanoke Doesn't Suck.'

It is designed to help local folks and tourists know what is going on in Roanoke. While his blog is more specific to Roanoke, I am going to stray over some city and county lines, and include things which are in relative proximity to Roanoke, such as the Statue of Liberty (ok, New York is an eleven-hour Greyhound bus drive).

But, we will include places in Blacksburg, Floyd and Salem.

Of course, this means we will have to inadvertently snub some places we like in Roanoke itself, including Kirk Avenue Music Hall, the Village Grill and Happy's Flea Market as well as Showtimers Theatre, which is now staging the musical-comedy "Once Upon a Mattress."

However, we think this list will help anyone looking for the proverbial thing to do rather than sit at Starbucks and read "Infinite Jest" (the late Daniel Foster Wallace's novel is some 1,100 pages long):

1) A Little Bit Hippy: An always unique place inside Towers Shopping Mall which offers cool tye-dye t-shirts and organic soap..........yes, they are the reason why we have '60 activist Wavy Gravy pictured.

2) The Bazaar:  This shop across from Towers offers records (we can't promise that you will find David Bowie's 'Let's Dance' there, but you just might), vintage clothing and live music.

3) The Taubman Art Museum

4) Mill Moutain Zoo

5) CUPs: This Grandin village coffee shop features a very large collection of bobble-head dolls. They also have Trivia Night on Tuesdays (yes, they are the reason for the image of coffee beans which we found via Turkish Wikipedia).

6) The Lyric Theatre (Blacksburg): A great place to see movies in Blacksburg; the critically-acclaimed film "Before Midnight" starts there on Friday.

7) Fork in the Alley: A great place to eat outdoors in the Crystal Springs neighborhood.

8) Third Street Coffeehouse: This little gem-of-a-palce is only open on Friday nights and we had a hard time finding it (use Mapquest or ask a friend), but there is some great local music there.

9) Star-Lite Drive-In (Christiansburg): Along with Hull's Drive-In in Lexington, this is the last remaining drive-in within driving distance from Roanoke.

10) The Salem Museum


http://www.roanokedoesntsuck.com

http://www.showtimers.org

http://www.alittlebithippy.com

http://www.taubmanmuseum.org

http://www.cupscoffeeandtea.com

http://www.forkinthealley.com

http://www.salemmuseum.org

There's more on our sister blog "Politics, Culture and Other Wastes of Time," regarding Things To Do in Roanoke: http://www.politicscultureandotherwastesoft.blogspot.com

Strange Dreams Indeed: Michael Caine Shines My Shoes in Guatemala

Right now , the whole world, perhaps even barefoot children in the Seychelles, are paying attention to Princess Kate Middleton having a royal baby, but here were are discussing our weird dream.

Last week, one member of our staff, had a dream in which Michael Caine turned out to be a shoe-shiner in Antigua, Guatemala.

When I recognized him, he said: "Nobody has noticed me all week."

I replied: "You're one of my favorite actors."

Caine: "Which film of mine do you like most"

Me: "(Long Pause) Educating Rita, maybe."

Caine: "Oh, that was the movie that I got on an Oscar nomination for, but Robert Duvall won instead."

Me: "Yeah, wasn't he great in Tender Mercies"

Caine: "Get someone else to shine your shoes."

Image to Fill Space- Lauren Conrad for Tell a Woman She is Beatiful Day

Yes, we are pretty much just doing this to get a rise in blog hits, but today really is Tell a Woman She is Beautiful Day, or at least that is what they are saying on Twitter.

For those of you in Ghana or Uzbekistan who may not have seen "The Hills," a pseudo-reality show on MTV that one tv critic compared to the great films of Jean-Luc Godard (?!), this is Lauren Conrad. Her frenemy on the show was Heidi Montag, or at least, that is the best we recollect at the moment.

Guest Blogger Today: Zappa the Family Cat

Welcome to our blog-readers in China, Brazil and Malta. Today, our guest blogger is Zappa the Family Cat, who is named after the late iconic rock musician Frank Zappa.

Zappa has a tendency to swear a lot, so we have to work around that:

"**D **M*, you stupid bastard, why didn't get me some ****ing roast chicken from Harris Tetter. Why do care about no one except else. You are such a *****e*** and a ****ing narcissist. I hate your guts, and I hope you die of liver cancer."

Of course, the person Zappa is talking to is me!