10 Possible Running Mates for Mitt Romney

For starters, it's an open secret here at "The Daily Vampire" that we are not Republicans ourselves even though our zip code is (I will only say that it's not Provo, Utah), so if we had our way then Mitt Romney would select the Rev. Pat Robertson who said that somehow President Barack Obama's is as corrupt as the Nixon administration was during Watergate. Then again, the people who watch "The 700 Club" are probably the ones who write radical letters-to-the-editor, such as one in "The Roanoke Times" today that said providing security for Michelle Obama when she gave the commencement at Virginia Tech last week was 'a waste of tax-payer money.'

So, here is the order from least offensive to most offensive. From what we've gathered Bill O'Reilly likes Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), David Brooks, the rare rational conservative, likes Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) and the GOP's man in the shadows Grover Norquist likes Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-Louisana, pictured at the bottom).

Here we go:

1. Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH, pictured top)

2. Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)

3. Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio)

4. Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-Ind.)

5. (former) Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-Minn.)

6. Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-La.)

7. Gov. Susana Martinez (R-N.Mex.)

8. Gov. Nikki Haley (R-SC)

9. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.)

10. Gov. Bob McDonnell (R-Va)

Ironically, we get email updates from both the Virginia Republican Party and the Minutemen Project, who are convinced that Pres. Obama was born in Tanzania or Tajikistan (actually, Zimbabwe is apparently their latest suggest; this is NOT a joke!), so we will provide a link to their web sites as  well as the one for Robertson's own "The 700 Club."

But, 'to balance things out,' we will provide some links to people and groups to the left of us. For starters, there is "The Nation" magazine which in the current issue has an excellent review of a posthumous memoir by singer/poet/activist Gil Scott-Herring, the official web site for filmmaker/activist Michael Moore who speaks with Cornel West tomorrow night at Hunter's College in New York and lastly The Ineternationalist Bookstore in Chapel Hill, NC, which is hosting a t-shirt design contest. Though the Tarheel State is up for grabs, there is virtually no doubt that zip code 27514 (the zip code for Chapel Hill) will go for Pres. Obama, even if he admits that he was born in Dushanbe (the capital of Tajikistan; sister city with Boulder, Colo.).

http://www.rpv.org

http://www.minutemenproject.com

http://www.cbn.com/700club

http://www.thenation.com

http://www.michaelmoore.com

http://www.internationalistbooks.org

Virtual Postcard from Washington DC- Washington Monument

We have sent Virtual Postcards out from both South Carolina and Kentucky, either when we were in or shortly after we had left those two states. Today, we will send you a Virtual Postcard from the '51st State," which is our nation's capital, Washington, DC, a city that conservatives love because of pure nationalism, and liberals love because of vegeterarian Ethiopian restaurants. Hey, it's fun to make fun of everyone, sometimes, though I personally think Michael Moore is considerably less insane than Pat Robertson.

Today, we thought we'd make this fun and snappy by doing a DC By the Numbers piece.

Here we go (other DC by the numbers will be appearing on our sister blog "Politics, Culture and Other Wastes of Time"):

6,228_ Number of homeless people in Washington, DC, according to 2009 statistics.

535_ Members of Congress

435_ Members of House of Representatives (not the same thing)

242_ Republican members in the House

192_ Democratic members in the House

40_Number of points that Georgetown University beat the New Jersey Institute of Technology by a few weeks ago; the final score was 84-44

32_ Members in the cast of the Ford's Theatre production of "A Christmas Carol," including veteran actor Edward Gero who returns as Scrooge.

31_ Number of protestors arrested during Occupy D.C. on Dec. 6th.

27_ Number of local newspapers (including college papers and weeklies) in Washington, DC.

4- Number of MLS Cups won by D.C. United, that's a soccer team, for my fellow Americans (maybe, they'll get the joke in Slovenia, maybe not!).

50 Beers Around the World- Sagres (Portugal)

New reports are surfacing that actually drinking two beers a day may help prevent a person from getting a heart attack, but I would check with my fellow Turkish-American Dr. Oz (Mehmet Oz) before heading over to Corn Beef and Company, a famous downtown bar in my hometown of Roanoke, Va.

As for our latest entry in the 50 Beers Around the World, Sagres Beer is the most popular brew in Portugal. It has a clever ad campaign, which Gloria Steinem and Pat Robertson may not care for, that features a black bikini-clad girl in her twenties coming out of the ocean to hover over an illuminating golden glass of Sarges. Surely, this must give the local chapter of AA in Lisbon something else they don't need to deal with!

Sagres started in 1940, and it is named after the town of Sagres, Portugal. It was first exported to mostly Portuguese colonies, including Mozambique which is now independent.

Popular types of Sagres include Sagres Preta, a Munich-type beer, Sagres Limalight which has a natural lemon flavor and Sagres Bohemia which is an auburn brew with a fruity aroma.

SIDEBAR: Just across the Straits of Gibraltar from Spain and Portugal is Morocco, where according to Sara Tucker of "Conde Nest Traveler," it is polite to knock on the door with the tips of your fingers, and you may only knock three times!

Silly Photo to Fill Space- Let's Go Bowling?!

We are continuing our look at summer jobs with the profession of bowling teacher. We were initially going to use the famous 'Nixon Bowling' poster which was featured in the film "The Big Lebowski," but we thought this might be more hip/clever. Well, you decide!

Our feature city with this series this month is Lynchburg, Va., where one can find the Fort Hill Bowling Center on 6015 Fort Ave. (Phone: 434-239-9261). The bowling alley has college nights from Monday-Wednesday for those of who attend Lyncburg College or Liberty University which was founded by Pat Robertson (no, that's not right? Well, we doubt members of the Falwell family read this blog!).

Sports/Political Humor

First of all, there is nothing funny about the earthquake in Haiti which has killed at least 100,000 people so far, but the Rev. Pat Robertson (R-Va) is another matter.

I don't watch "The 700 Club" regularly, well not at all actually, but I do watch "NBA Coast-to-Coast" on ESPN fairly regularly. Given what he said yesterday on his show, I can imagine that if the Virginia Beach televangelist were to guest-host on 'Coast-to-Coast' he might say something like this:

"The New Jersey Nets' futile season* is because there are way too many Muslims living in Passaic....some of them even own Turkish restaurants."

*- The Nets have won three games so far this year. Last night, they lost a home game to the Boston Celtics by a 111-87 margin, but they were down by 36 in the first half! The Nets next face the Indiana Pacers who are having a slightly better year.

SIDEBAR- I was hoping to see the North Carolina State Wolfpack's women's gymnastics opener against Rutgers University, which is in New Jersey, but I have come down with a nagging cold and my presence in Raleigh, NC, seems as unlikely as the Nets making the playoffs. Nevertheless, I wish them well with the Rutgers meet and the rest of their season.


SIDEBAR 2- If you are looking for Turkish restaurants in New Jersey, we recommend the Marmara Restaurant in Trenton. Tell them I sent you, even though they have no idea who I am. Closer to home, there is Talulla's in Chapel Hill, NC, which is harika (wonderful).

Silly Photo to Fill Space- Dog Washing

This week, we are posting our Silly Photo to Fill Space on Monday instead of Tuesday for two reasons.

The main one is that as a Virginian who still works in Virginia (though I live in North Carolina), I desperately want to see Democratic state senator Creigh Deeds (pictured here) upset Republican attorney general Bob McDonnell, an alumnus of Pat Robertson's Regent University, tomorrow......!!!!!

So, I am posting this by saying if we indeed win tomorrow, I will personally come to your home and wash your dog.......that is as long as you are a resident of Virginia and you vote for Deeds. I don't care if you live in the far southwestern Virginia town of Grundy or in a busy DC suburb like Alexandria.........we really, really need this one folks and most polls show McDonnell with a substantial lead right now.

I volunteered for Deeds when he ran for attorney general against McDonnell four years. He lost by a mere 700 votes. He is a wonderful, warm and charming guy.

In order to make sure this entry is not purely political, I also want to use it to give attention to the Salem Animal Shelter in my hometown of Salem, Va., regardless if you are a Democrat or a Republican, these animals need a good home, and my mom already has too many pets!

Their web site is http://www.salempets.org

You can also log onto http://www.rvspca.org