Guest Blogger Today: Zappa the Family Cat

Welcome to our blog-readers in China, Brazil and Malta. Today, our guest blogger is Zappa the Family Cat, who is named after the late iconic rock musician Frank Zappa.

Zappa has a tendency to swear a lot, so we have to work around that:

"**D **M*, you stupid bastard, why didn't get me some ****ing roast chicken from Harris Tetter. Why do care about no one except else. You are such a *****e*** and a ****ing narcissist. I hate your guts, and I hope you die of liver cancer."

Of course, the person Zappa is talking to is me!