An Actual Conversation I Had With My Mom

My mom thought it might be a good idea for us to go see a movie at the historic Grandin Theatre in Roanoke, Va., for my 39th birthday which was on Wednesday.


It should be pointed out that in spite of what one might infer from these graphics, I am not a woman, but once you read the text, you will understand why I chose to use them.


This is pretty much the exact verbiage of that discussion:


Mom: What's showing at the Grandin?

Me: 'Waltz with Bashir,' 'The Reader' and that French movie.

Mom: The French movie with the British actress?

Me: Yes. (pause) Want to see it?

Mom: It's about a woman who gets out of jail right?

Me: Yes. I think so.

Mom: Too depressing. Bashir's a war movie, right?

Me: Yes

Mom: No (pause) I really don't want to see 'The Reader' either.

Me: Kate Winslet won an Oscar for it.

Mom: I know, but it's about the Holocaust. Is there something more uplifting at the other theatres?

Me: (Long pause) There's 'Confessions of a Shopaholic.'

Mom: That's too much in the other direction (pause). I guess we can go see 'The Reader.'